Humor
There was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke.
She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,
"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes.
I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do...I memorized all the state capitals."
Of course,one of the guys, said "I don't believe you.
What is the capital of Nevada?"
"N", she answered.
A blonde got lost in her car in a terrible snow storm.
She remembered what her dad had once told her,
"If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.
She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her, "What are you doing?"
She explained, "My Dad told me, 'if you ever get stuck in a snowstorm , follow a snow plow.'"
The driver nodded and said:
"Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot. Want to follow me over to K-Mart?"
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood
. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50
. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Without GOD, our week would be:
Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday & Shatterday.
Remember seven days WITHOUT GOD makes One WEAK!!
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke.
She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,
"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes.
I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do...I memorized all the state capitals."
Of course,one of the guys, said "I don't believe you.
What is the capital of Nevada?"
"N", she answered.
A blonde got lost in her car in a terrible snow storm.
She remembered what her dad had once told her,
"If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.
She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her, "What are you doing?"
She explained, "My Dad told me, 'if you ever get stuck in a snowstorm , follow a snow plow.'"
The driver nodded and said:
"Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot. Want to follow me over to K-Mart?"
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood
. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50
. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
- MY BLONDE FRIEND IS SO FUNNY....
- ...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
- ...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
- ...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
- ...she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
- ...she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
- ...she thought cantaloupe was a marital problem
- ...she thought General Motors was in the army.
- ...she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
- ...under "education" on her job application, she put " Hooked On Phonics."
- ...she tried to drown a fish.
- ...she tripped over a cordless phone.
- ...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
- ...she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
- ...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
- ...she got locked in a grocery store and nearly starved to death.
- ...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
- ...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
- ...it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes."
- ...if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
- ...she studied for a blood test - and failed.
- ...she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
- ...she sold the car for gas money.
- ...when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted) she went home and got 16 friends.
- ...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
- ...she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
- ...when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
- ...when she took me to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
Without GOD, our week would be:
Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday & Shatterday.
Remember seven days WITHOUT GOD makes One WEAK!!
